The Real Truth About Stress
Did you know that stress is normal? Stress is our body’s reaction to a feeling of losing control. When we are stressed, our brain believes that something is deadly wrong and our nervous system goes into overdrive preparing us for self defense. Sometimes it appears as if our brain is trying to trick us. In reality, it is just trying to protect us. At the first hint of danger, it will give us warning signs. It is, however, up to our higher brain to put things in perspective.
If we are really in an actual life threatening situation — like being charged at by a dangerous animal — you are going to want your body to respond quickly and appropriately. In short, our stress response turns on the body functions that we need to think and move quickly. It sends blood and oxygen to our muscles, making us stronger. It also sends blood and oxygen away from our bladder and stomach which have no role in our current quest for survival.
For this, we want to be thankful for our stress response.
The problem is, our brain can’t tell the difference between reality and perception. That means we could be completely safe, yet be terrified. Think about those of us who are fearful of public speaking or even itty bitty spiders. They certainly can’t kill us, but many of us go into panic when we are faced with those situations. We find ourselves fighting for our lives because we feel like we are losing control.
What’s happening is that our body is responding to something unknown and uncomfortable. Such a threatening feeling could stem from either a positive or negative scenario.
Stress from a positive scenario motivates us — as when we are in a competition and the adrenaline is flowing.
Stress from a negative scenario halts us even though it is not life threatening. We experience it as fear of financial failure, fear of being rejected, fear of making a wrong decision, fear of no longer existing, fear of the unknown, fear of dark places, fear of crowded spaces, fear of losing control, fear or .. (you fill in the blank).
It is possible that those fears were born from our past experiences, but still, the reality is that in this present moment, a real danger does not exist.
When we stress about something, our cortisol levels rise. Cortisol is responsible for the body changes I mentioned earlier. If we are in real danger, cortisol is helpful. If we are not in real danger, cortisol becomes a poison.
The American Institute of Stress noted that 33% of people report feeling extreme stress. (Observe the word extreme). They also said that 77% of people experience stress that affects their physical health and 73% of people have stress that impacts their mental health. As if that were not enough, they added that 48% of people have trouble sleeping because of stress. What’s critical here is that lack of sleep contributes to the decline in both our physical and mental health.
The stress we feel in our bodies is a signal to our bodies to alert us to danger. It’s a catalyst for the physical and mental changes we need in our body to survive, however the situation that our body is protecting us from on a regular basis — is make-believe.
Stress and the stress response are there to save us from a life threatening situation, but given our lack of awareness, our response is ironically and unfortunately life threatening. The cortisol that is created is signaling our body to function in ways that have us in attack mode unnecessarily and that is no way to live.
Kinyofu Mlimwengu is a long recognized professional in advocacy for women’s resilience. Boldly standing for resilient change, she has touched hundreds of families with her passionate support of their birth and beyond experiences.
Kinyofu holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Community and Human Services and a Master’s Degree in Education. She inspires generations of resilience from wombs to classrooms and teaches new, seasoned and future parents tools to help them stop generational trauma in its tracks. Kinyofu is also a mother of 2 adult children and an Uma to 2 lovely Gbabies.
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